I'll be 26 on Sunday. I'm not really sure how I feel about this - heading into the wrong side of my twenties, towards the Big Three Oh. I think I'm fine with it - more amused, really, because jam_warrior really freaks out with every birthday. He's a year younger than me, so he has a habit of freaking out at my birthdays as well as his own. Quite funny! Of course, being the older one, I have no sympathy for him whatsoever. I don't care hpw many years I've been around, as far as I'm concerned we're still young, fresh, healthy and cool individuals, and that's what matters!

Birthdays, lately, have been lacking something. When you are young birthdays are such a huge event - you throw a party, surround yourselves with friends and family, eat the kind of food your mother would never allow any other day of the year and get loads of presents. When you start to get a bit older birthdays are more what you make of them - if you chose to make it a big deal, people will still turn up and pay you attention. If you want to keep it quiet you can do that too. At college I was still surrounded by my class-mates, who loved making a fuss of anyone, so birthdays then were still quite fun. Then at university birthdays started turning into a evening in the pub, then an evening at home with a few drinks and a film, then finally a brief raised glass and nothing more. I guess as people move around it becomes more and more difficult to surround yourself with the people you love, and unless you make a huge effort to organise something then birthdays sort of slip into the background.

It's kind of selfish, but I miss the attention. I could give or take the presents - to be honest I prefer giving to receiving these days - but I miss feeling special on my birthday. I miss the feeling that everyone WANTED to be with me on my day (even though, for family at least, they were probably there more out of obligation). I miss having cake and icecream and party games. Maybe I just have to accept this is how it is now - I celebrate with my fiance and a few friends that live nearby, maybe my family if they can make the distance. Big parties with everyone I know and love turning up are a thing of the past (at least until I hit the nest big age, anyway!).

Well, this weekend I'm meeting up with my parents and my older brother and spending the weekend in London. It should be fun! At least the people I love the most will be there. :)